: 2011 is coming very soon and I believe its going to be a year of stepping up and stepping out. Making a difference and connecting. I’m really excited because its about time. God has huge plans and I want to be apart of them and follow them according to Him. My goal for 2011 is to do these things and be strong and courageous because I can make a difference even if its the smallest thing. God works through everyone.
:Southern Orange County:Fast Moving. Self Focused. Material Focused. Cold. Fake.
I think this can pretty much sum up most of where I live. I’m not gonna lie I can sometimes get distracted by some of these things such as material things: the way I dress, the things I want, how I look. I also get caught up on being self focused and fast moving. Just doing a bunch of things and going a million hours per hour at all times. I’ve come to the realization that juggling a bunch of different things at once doesn’t really get me anywhere. I can never put all my time and effort and go above and beyond when I have 20 other things to also put that focus into. This year I’ve been trying super hard to prioritize all the different things that need to be done and I think so far I’ve been doing fairly well. Lately it has been a little rough to be honest. I had been thinking a lot of Pslam 46:10 which is “Be still and know that I am God”. Be Still:Drop everything: Hands down.
Its as simple as
1. Hear His Voice
2. Fall On Him
3. and He will feed us
In order to hear His voice we need to be still, listen, meditate, and there we will hear His voice. We can then fall on Him and be with Him and He will provide everything else. He will always feed us and build us up while we’re constantly seeking Him out. Just as a student desires to learn from his teacher and his teacher will teach him. We should desire to hear God and seek Him out and His word and He will provide what we need to hear, see, and do in our lives. When we stop before God its there where you hear Him. If I fill every moment with something even if its all church related good things I will eventually dry out and be exhausted from doing it on my own without a break. But when I rely on God and His strength and guiding Hands I can can constantly pour out to other people and things because I am constantly being filled by Him.
: Last night was girls night. Didn’t think of how much I missed my best friend Lilia until she finally came home! We went over to my friend Emily’s house and made some very delicious thai food (MY FAVOURITE) and just had an amazing time together with our other girls from small groups. I was thinking of all the different crazy memories I had with each girl and our times together and I realized something: High school has flown by. So much has happened and I’m very excited to see what God has for me in this new year because I believe it to be a year of stepping up and making a difference. Its going to be solid. I love these girls and the times we share. Can’t wait for our upcoming crazy plans.
: "There is only one relationship that matters, and that is your relationship to a personal Redeemer and Lord. Let everything else go, but maintain that at all costs, and God will fulfill His purpose through your life. One individual life may be of priceless value to God’s purposes, and yours may be that life." Oswald Chambers
I love this quote so much. It just reminds me so much to let go and move forward so that God can fulfill His purpose through my life. If I’m holding on to things how can He fulfill my purpose? let go
: Lately I’ve just been seeing God work all around me. It has been so comforting but very uncomfortable at the same time. I once heard someone say ” if we stay in the same broken pattern all the time while being unhappy how is it any different then stepping out and changing to try to be happy. the answer is fear.” Fear gets the best of me all the time. It is the number one thing on my mind at all times. I’ve come to memorize psalm 27:1 ” The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life of, whom shall I be afraid?” I love it. It gives me so much hope and I realize there is no reason to have fear. Fear has held me back from so many things. Fear along with stress and anxiety. It all just sums me up but I see God wanting to shape those things into something else. I need to let go and move forward. I don’t like the words move on because I don’t believe in those. But I love move forward. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 talks about the most amazing race as I like to say it. I feel like I just keep going one round after another battling to keep going but these verses make me press on. Philippians 3:13-14 ” Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” I need to press toward the goal! I need to run with a purpose and finish the race well. I know my purpose: to glorify God. I want God to tell me that I have done great things to glorify Him just as a father would tell their son how proud he is of his son. I want God to brag about me. He has paid the greatest price of all for me which was dying on the cross for my sins. I want to bring Him glory for that because He is more than deserving. Though these past few weeks have been hard. I have finally come to a place of serenity. I have let go and I am pressing on to move forward. The race I am running is the most amazing race and I need to keep that in mind.
: Went to go see The Tourist tonight. The most surprising movie because it was not at all what I expected it to be. I like that. I like that a lot. Tonight needed to happen and I realize that even though I have very few friends I have friends that get me and understand my side of everything and I just love it. I don’t need a million people just to feel loved. I just need people who get it. I’m sick of this OC bubble that I live in. No one gets it.
: Something I realized: I really dislike facebook. I spent the past three days away from it and I go on and boom I’m back to being so upset again. I really don’t know how people think certain things are right when they simply aren’t. No one truly cares about anything anymore. People are broken and messed up and decided to screw up your life because they simply don’t care. Well how am I supposed to not care?
its so awesome when you find out you’re pushed out of a circle of friends.
: Can I just tell you that you make a difference to this world. You should never feel too insignificant or small to do BIG things. YOU can make a huge significant difference. Please don’t ever forget that.
:Memories are nothing but a daunting thought in your mind it goes by so fast that it seems like just yesterday we were at the beginning and now we’re here in this very spot. Memories are just another daunting though in your mind. They come and go but no matter what they will always be there. Sometimes I wonder how I ever made it through and how I’ll ever make it through again because my memories are just another daunting thought. They never go away no matter what you do. Things may all go right or they may all go wrong. Either which way I will always remember because that is what i do best. Its a curse. A curse to remember all because my memories are just another daunting thought. They never go away no matter what I do.
: Sometimes I just really don’t understand how on earth I came to this place in life.
when I look back I would never have thought that I’d be here now. In this spot. Yet I think to myself : I wouldn’t change this for the world. I am exactly where I need to be but there is always somewhere farther I can go. Somewhere higher and somewhere better. I need to always remember this.